2024 / Issue 21

It’s disappointing as a parent because at this age, they start to understand, and suddenly, you think they might share an interest in what you didn’t care about at their age but now realize the importance of culture, fauna, and flora. What you fail to grasp at the time is that these little beings are in their own small worlds. Our parenting ideals take a backseat, friends become more important than ever, and egos start to develop. In my day, there was no internet, but now these kids are inundated with technology, so why walk in the woods when you can see it on a screen, right?! I remember the countless attempts to persuade him to explore the many cities I wanted to visit with him, both domestically and abroad. It was more of a mental test than a physical experience in my opinion. I don’t know if it’s because he’s a boy, but my son had zero interest in anything when he was that young. So, I kept it simple by opting for all-inclusive hotels because at that age, making friends is paramount, less screen time, and less nerve-racking for the parent. We just have to make choices as parents.

And the age frames keep getting shorter. Between 12 and 15 years old, I recall my son showing interest in traveling. As a mother, I was over the moon because there seemed to be light behind those years of clouds. The glimmer of hope that you can finally fulfill the parent dream of going on adventures with your son is so close. And then he comes up with, “I want to go to Paris.” Isn’t that delightful? Your child wants to go to Paris with you! Bonding with my son, that’s what we parents live for! Your child lets you back into their life after many years. I feel so honored. But what you have to understand is that your child has already planned the entire city trip for you both. It goes something like this: We arrive in Paris. Then we go to this and that skate spot. The next day, we visit this and that skate shop. We eat junk food, preferably as quickly as possible because shopping time is limited on a weekend. And you think to yourself, what an independent child you’ve raised. Those moments are so precious and valuable. Secretly, you realize that you’re essentially just a walking wallet.

Today, I find myself in the phase where he only wants to go on faraway trips with friends. I’ve always given my son the confidence to stay overnight with friends or go on short and nearby city trips with friends, like Amsterdam and Paris when he was 15. I believe it’s important to give my son that trust under certain conditions and constant availability, of course. But now he wants to go to Brazil to visit his friend. That’s uncharted territory for me. The dual feeling between giving trust and the fear of sending him to an unknown and dangerous country is a mixed bag of emotions. I want to trust him, but at the same time, I want to be less than a kilometer away from him in case something happens. It’s moments like these that make it incredibly difficult to make these decisions alone. On one hand, I want him to have this experience so badly. On the other hand, I’ll never forgive myself if something happens and I’m so far away from him to protect him. And rationally, I know these emotions don’t add up. And then I remember my therapist’s words, “approach this challenge with love, not fear.” In my mind, that sounds crystal clear, of course.

Traveling with children has been quite challenging in my experience, but there’s nothing quite like experiencing it all firsthand.